One big mistake that parents make is to go from zero to one hundred suddenly. Their children go from having very limited access to getting their own unsupervised device when they turn 13. Suddenly, the floodgate is kicked open!
Healthy behaviors are formed over time. This is the same for healthy online behaviors. Even adults have to be taught about online dangers like identity theft, scams, spoofing or phishing, malware, viruses, etc. Likewise, kids should be trained on responsible online behaviors gradually.
A good way to think of this is to parallel it with introducing your children to crossing the street. At the baby stage, you carry the child across. You are in full control. At the toddler stage, you hold onto the child’s hand firmly while explaining traffic safety rules. At the school age, you loosen your grip a little while reminding them of safety rules. A few years later, you let go of your grip completely but still are walking beside the child across. At some point, you decide that your child is ready to cross the street without any supervision. The child has total autonomy. You just pray that they cross safely. 🙂
I remember when I told my nephew that he was old enough to cross the street to school by himself. He was in the third grade. His first reaction was a skeptical, “Really?” I reminded him to look both ways. It was a busy crosswalk with the mad rush of parents dropping off their kids at school. I don’t know who was more nervous – him or me. I watched from a short distance as he looked both ways multiple times before finally crossing. He did the same after school with me watching on the other side. At dinner, he shared his crossing strategy. He said that he made sure that there were other people crossing as well! Clever.
It is important to supervise your children’s activities online. Sit with them as they engage with the device and start talking to them about safety online. It’s never too late to do this. For younger children, let them know that not all websites and videos are appropriate for them. For teens, ask them questions about topics like cyberbullying, sexting, contact with strangers, etc. Remind them that access and independence (privacy) are earned as they demonstrate maturity. Create a family online pledge.
Use parental control features and tools on your child’s device. Recommended:
Set screen time and search filters using Screentime (iOS), Familylink (Android). Many other parental control apps also have this feature. I have used a few commercial parental control filters.
Use the kids version of any popular apps, e.g. YouTube for Kids, Messenger for Kids (for older children)
These tools do not replace parental vigilance, but they help tremendously. Look at our How To Guides for instructions.